The addiction of touch

Being with someone. Being close to someone (a certain someone).........thts what i want :)

Have u ever got lost in someone s eyes? 

It had been hardly 10 seconds since i looked into her beautiful brown eyes when the urge to kiss her now so familiar soft lips was owerpowering me and i had to fight back with all my strength of self-constraint and look away, making sure i dont spoil whatever i was left with.

Are you in love with me?" She asked. I'm sure I saw a tear in her eye when I looked over. She turned her head so I  couldn't see it though.

"I don't know. I'm not sure what it would feel like. I know I like you very much. And I know I don't look forward to a life without you. I don't want you to leave. I know I've never felt this way about anyone before. If this isn't love, I can't wait to fall in love because it must be incredible." I said in a rare moment of clarity and poetry.

And a few moments later, under a star-lit sky i proposed her.

We never realize when things get out of hand, when the desperation to get the one you love swallows you and every sane thought turns into a lethal,binding and hopeless insanity. There have been occasions in the last few days when i have felt numb and emotionless. The numbness arose out of the need to shield my soul against the storm of insanity which keeps pushing me into the darkness, day in and day out.

Love is a weird and wonderful thing.Sometimes we choose to make it good or bad.Probably its not even our choice but its the time that makes us do things we dont ever want to do. Sometimes i feel suffocated and experience terrible sorrow.In these times the general feeling is that of desperation and it makes me want to be touched and  loved, cuddled and be close to someone. It gets worse when you get used to the feeling and lose it, all of a sudden. 

Again this gives you two options- Hate yourself/her and move into darkness OR fight it and get accustomed to change,  start smiling again and move on. I chose the second path but am addicted to her touch now :( Am just walking in the  wilderness with only the belief that in the end things work out the way they have to. Do i miss her?? Upto you to decide :) 

Cya

Da Cheat that I am

Here I would like to quote lines from the song Better Man by my favorite band Pearl Jam,

Waitin, watchin the clock, its four oclock, its got to stop
Tell him, take no more, she practices her speech
As he opens the door, she rolls over...
Pretends to sleep as he looks her over
She lies and says shes in love with him, cant find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, cant find a better man...
Cant find a better man (2x)
Ohh...Talkin to herself, theres no one else who needs to know...
She tells herself, oh...
Memories back when she was bold and strong
And waiting for the world to come along...
Swears she knew it, now she swears hes gone
She lies and says shes in love with him, cant find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, cant find a better man...
She lies and says she still loves him, cant find a better man...
She dreams in color, she dreams in red, cant find a better man...
Cant find a better man (2x)
Yeah...
..............Well I had my Convocation the past weekend and it was among my happiest moments ever. But, you know the feeling of lull after a storm, the feeling that sucks you into the empty darkness called loneliness. Till i was with friends, i was full of energy and was having a blast. Now, its all over and here i am on this lonely lap of the race called life. Over the past few days i have realized all of us cheat ourselves( at least i do), more often than is necessary. Whenever we make assumptions how others are going to behave, all we are doing is to tell a wishful lie to ourselves.
There is a certain law of attraction which i would like to quote here...If someone moves away from someone, they move closer to someone else"....But am not sure if the reverse is also true. Certain someone has moved away from and got closer to some others, but here i am alone with no one moving closer to me...FACTS OF LIFE :).......Now am off to listen to another Pearl Jam Song..Black....Here is my favorite line from that song....

I know someday you'll have a beautiful life
I know you'll be a sun
In somebody else's sky
But why
Why
Why can't it be
Why can't it be mine ...

I leave you with that but promise to bring some happier thoughts next time around, even though i ll have to cheat myself for that, BUT THE LIE IS A NECESSARY EVIL, AIN'T IT. Cya :)

Valentine's Day Special

Heeehooohaaahaaahaah.......
Where am i???What are those sounds???I cant see any light???What is this place???
God i am scared....HELP!!!!!!!!!!
.....buzzzzzz....buzzzzz...If u wanna get down u gotta take her out..Cocaine...
WOOH i was dreaming.thanks to Mr.Clapton whose track is my ring tone i got up just before the devil could eat me up.Without thinking too much about my dream i wake up to valentine's day and start preparing for a very busy day at college.It is the second day of my college fest and today's the final of my event.
Event went well in spite of some major bottlenecks leaving me free to kill time watching other events and practicing for my big night tomorrow when i give my first ever stage performance as a guitarist.Evening went into preparing for my flatmate's birthday bash and later i went to a very cool place for dinner.
Food,drinks and ambiance everything was awesome.Had a great time and drove back at a crazy speed to be there for my friend's birthday.After ceremonial cake cutting and birthday bumps we started drinking.After downing a couple of beers here i am blogging to the world my valentine's day.I have to say my day was awesome,still i can feel the void which can only be filled by an angel who ll make my heart sing...again :)