The disaster called soccer

Sorry for not posting for a long time.Been busy off late what with so many exams all over me.
My results have been pretty decent,still the future remains quite uncertain.This rat race is taking a toll on my creativity.Otherwise also,things haven't been great for me especially after the new years.I got my first backlog in college life,one of my closest friends stopped talking to me, projects got delayed etc.To sum it all up things haven't progressed the way i wanted them to in the new years.My new years resolution was to quit smoking up,but all these incidents have pushed me towards Hash all over again.
Today there was my intra-college soccer competition and we lost 9-0.I just can't help but realize that i am losing everything right now.How can i let go if there isn't any security????I am completely lost today.To the world i am normal and happy right now,but inside i am lonely,sad and hoping for someone to take me out of this shell of darkness while trying myself to find the path to happyness with a y....